I had a grand mal seizure. Want to hear?
October 13, 2009So. I had booked what sounded like a pretty neat job… I didn’t know much more about it than that I’d be participating in an “expert panel” for MSN in the tech/gadget arena in Palos Verdes on October 12/13th, and my birthday actually fell on that first day, so I thought, well, huh, I’ve agreed to be working that day anyway, so why not fly down to LA for the previous weekend and see all my friends?
The MSN folks had arranged a car service for me, so as I descended down into baggage claim from a pleasant, wifi-enabled 1.4 hour flight, I saw a jovial older British guy with the ponytail holding my “LANE” sign (obviously at that time I had no idea he was British or jovial, but now it’s stuck in my memory). Anyway, nice guy. Led me to a Lincoln Towncar and didn’t blink an eye when I asked to be driven into Venice instead of straight to the hotel in Palos Verdes (where I’d been put up for the weekend by MSN). See, I just wanted to have brunch in Venice first. That’s all I wanted to do! Couple hours tops, two days before actual work. Slight chance of shopping. Slight!
So Venice resident Damon Berger (the future person to save my life, though I didn’t know that last part yet) and I walked two blocks from his brand-new kickass little bachelory beach bungalow to Abbot Kinney Blvd, the hipstery granola beautiful people main drag. We took our time choosing a place (which was nothing new, because we’re both picky about our food/service/sun exposure in our own ways) and settled on an organic/German/everything brunch spot called 3 Square.
We sat outside along the edge of the East/West wall at a 2-person table, just out of direct sun. Now here’s where everything gets fuzzy, because I remember certain things I said over the next five or so minutes, some of which were actually heard and have been backed up on official record, and some refuted for total inaccuracy/whimsy/fake language not recognized by any linguistics expert, anywhere. I remember asking to add mushrooms to an otherwise mushroom-free omelette, and was later told that I commented on how good bircher muesli was (it was an item on the menu). I remember the former but not the latter. Basically this is right around the time where things were falling apart upstairs. Keep in mind it was 11:30 am.. nobody was partying.
At this point, the really truly last thing I do remember is Damon looking across the table at me in a very concerned way and asking me if I was ok. “Sarah, are you ok? Seriously, are you ok?” And I heard him, and I saw him, and I couldn’t answer him. I could NOT stop whatever was coming. And that’s when I blacked out.
I’ve been told that at this point my entire body began convulsing, my eyes rolled back into my head, my mouth bled from where I had bit into it, and my lips turned blue. I guess that means I wasn’t breathing… blue lips? It wasn’t cold outside. Damon grabbed me and had someone pull my chair out from under me, brought me to the ground, and yelled for someone to call an ambulance. Apparently it arrived within about five minutes… good thing we weren’t dining in South Central. Damon would later tell me that he was convinced I was having either a heart attack or a stroke and dying right then and there, in his arms, and that it was the scariest moment of his entire life. I’m terribly grateful not to remember this part.
What I do remember is waking up in the back of an ambulance, an EMT to my left, Damon to my right. Now, this sounds really crazy and stupid but my initial thought was that I was being kidnapped, because when I begged to be let go they tried to hold me down and soothe me and keep in mind that I had no idea what had happened at the restaurant. I was in the back of a van and a strange man wanted to put a needle in my arm. I believe I kicked him. (EMT guy, I’m sorry I acted so badly with you, I know you were just trying to help. Keep on keepin on.)
I was admitted to Marina Del Ray Hospital, a place that I never knew existed, even though I lived less than ten miles away for two years. Kind of a small-town, kitchy feel to the place, and I say that with no disrespect- the kind of hospital where you don’t feel lost in the sterile shuffle of modern medicine. I was completely doped up for my 2.5-day stay, so forgive my swiss cheese memory, but I do know that the first IV drip I got was phenobarbital, the MOST WONDERFUL DRUG IN THE UNIVERSE, and also the #1 anti-seizure medication prescribed to dogs. Yay trivia! This is a little embarrassing to admit, but after four hours of intervenous intergalactic planetary space flight, I spent the rest of my hospital stay trying to come up with reasons why the nurses should give me more phenobarbital. (They never did, because they are mean, cruel nurses and only out for themselves.)
First test I got was a cat scan, which was a piece of cake… sort of like a mini-MRI. I think the next one was my actual MRI (which I was particularly sedated for, since I had heard it was a really claustrophobic experience… totally fell asleep in there). The third test was an EEG, which was a series of wires and suction cups attached to my scalp. I’ve never looked uglier…fact. There may or may not be a few iPhone pictures to back me up, but just take my word for it.
Anyway, so yeah. 400 tests, strong drugs, really nice nurses, and some not-that-horrible hospital food. Besides the circumstances under which I was there, I really think it could have been worse. My hospital roommate was Mrs. Jimenez, who had literally had BRAIN SURGERY several times already. A lovely woman with a great family, and I hope she gets better.
I’m now on a drug called Phenytoin (brand name Dilantin), which I take three times a day and has one of the worst list of side effects I’ve ever read. You guys, it’s almost funny it’s so bad. This is anti-epilepsy medication, which nobody really thinks I have, but is my best overall seizure suppressant until I get a clear diagnosis and better treatment options with a local neurologist here in San Francisco. I hate it and I hate the way it makes me feel. I feel slow… not funny, not smart. I am not legally allowed to drive a car. Plus, I’m not supposed to drink alcohol, which is ONLY THE ELIXIR OF LIFE, NOTHING BIG.
They think I might have cysticercosis, likely contracted during my year traveling abroad. It’s pretty gross. I’ve actually tested negative for it already, but they also think I have something called a blood-brain barrier, which might cause me to test inaccurately in tests such as these. BECAUSE I NEED AS MUCH OF A CHALLENGE AS POSSIBLE WHEN IT COMES TO MY BRAIN.
So that’s where I am now. I have my first neurology appointment here in SF on Tuesday, and we’ll go from there. Think positive! I also just wanted to thank everyone who’s called me or written me or bought me beautiful flowers (McCloskey), sent various notes of support and encouragement, etc. I hope I can get back to all of you, but just know I’m reading everything and really appreciating the love.
A quick but heartfelt congratulatory note to my cousin Martin and his beautiful bride Rebeca, who are getting married in Boston on Saturday in a gorgeous, joyful ceremony that I’m devastated to have to miss. A match made in heaven if there ever was one!
Reader Comments (151)
Sarah,
So sorry to hear about this. I had an ex-girlfriend who got the same thing. I saw her years after and she was doing just fine. Keep hope! I love your show.
Best Wishes
Steve
Jesus Christ, Miss Lane. I was blindsided when your story got as bad as it did. I wasn't expecting anything that serious.
Get better!
Sarah, don't you dare scare us like that again! A world without you would be a lot sadder and a lot less fun.
Quick & to the point here. I have been a type 1 diabetic since age 4. (36 years) I have experienced temporary blindness, kidney failure, dialysis, kidney/pancreas transplantation, kidney failure again, partial paralysis, heart attack and that is just the beginning. I have to say, I love your positive attitude especially about the hospital. I have spent many many days there & the hospal staff never gets the props it deserves.
You are your own best doctor. Take control of your health and make sure to ask many many questions until you feel the answers are adequate. Know your medications and triple check any changes. (I take 10 different meds a day just to live). Research your diagnosis. Doctors have a play book, but many times patients fall outside those boundaries & only you can keep the collaborative act straight. Always stay positive. ALWAYS. Be prepared but do not dwell on possibilities. As far as the horrible side effects of medications go.. well I can't be helpfull there. My joke is I take 10 pills that have fix 8 problems and cause 60 more. You will be fine s long as you know it. You could never guess by looking at me that I have as many problems as I do. It's mind over matter. The average person who has had the transplant that I have had lives 7 years, I am at 11.. and I know will go many many more. Good Luck. Keep up the great attitude.
Hi Sara
My Name is Thomas I actually know how you feel with a few differences. i have had 3 seizures in my life the first one at age 2 the second 24 and a third at 34. I have been on dilantin on and off from age 2. I did get off of it at age 18 and then got back on it at 24. The doctors took me off of it at 30 and am now back on it again. I will remain on it the rest of my life. i listened to TWIF where you were talking about your seizure and just wanted to give you some insight. First off i was 25 before i read the side effects to dilantin. I have had very few of them at all. So try not too freak out too bad when you read them. Second i know how scary it is to loose the independence of driving. The doctors finally okayed me to drive after 6 months since i had never had a seizure when i was on dilantin. I was very lucky that i was asleep for both of mine and the doctors believe that a lack of oxygen was the cause. I am not a doctor but i have read alot about the generic dilantin and would definitely get on the name brand pills. I have to take 200mg in the morning and 300 mg at night. I have a very loving wife who never lets me miss a doss. The disorientation that you are feeling will pass, it does take some time.
Some things i avoid are strobe lights, I have been told by several doctors that there i a high chance the lights could trigger another seizure. anyway i hope this helps some.
Thomas
Just wanted to say hi. I am a fan of TWIF and been following marty since unscrewed. Just wanted to say God Bless you and will keep you in my prayers for you diagnosis to come back well. Just remember God is the best physician and prayers do get heard.
God bless and take care
Wow that's no way to spend a birthday. I hope you feel better soon. Your brain seems to be functioning well despite everything, and you looked better than I ever have in a hospital gown in your twitter pic. Keep rolling with punches.
I'll keep it to a minimum: glad to hear youre doing well now and know that things only get better from here
Hi Sarah,
I'm glad you're better now. Hope you find out soon enough what's going on inside that head of yours!
Best wishes from me and everyone from TWiT!
-Tony
Good luck on this. For what it is worth, many episodes of the this nature are one time things.
I hope yours is one of them.
Hang in.
Wow, glad you are ok. Really admire you positive attitude through all of this. It is all uphill from here! Keep the TWIFs coming!
Sara,
How scary for you. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I'm glad you are out of the hospital, and I hope they are able to figure out the cause and get you better. I wish you all the best.
Get well - or better - soon, Sara!
I watch TWIF whenever i can. Here in Germany it's at best warm up time: Friday night 11.00 pm and i enjoy it a lot. Thank you for this. Do me a favor and get well soon. Kisses to your cats and of course to YOU!
Best wishes
Jörg
Hey Sarah.. I want to say that it takes alot to share the big life events you have had on your blog since you are somewhat of a public figure. I hope I have the same level of confidence one day. Your positive attitude and all the great people around you will help you get through anything! Lots of Love going your way.
Hey Sarah glad you made it out ok. It is good to hear that the ct and MRI did not show any tumours.
I had the same thing happen to me a few months ago and found a tumour, my body was telling me that something was wrong. So I had to get a brain biopsy ala surgery. It was cancerous so I was sent over to the bc cancer agency where they performed radiation treatment and started me on a oral chemotherapy. So far so good. I have done my first MRI since and will hear results soon. However my doctor seemed optimistic since I am not having any balance issues and my stength is good. I am also on Dilantin but don't worry the side effects start to subside as you get more used to the drug. You will probably be able to drive once you have been seizure free for a amount of time assuming your driving rules are similar to ones in Canada. I'm glad to be Canadian since all my hospital visits and most medication is provided as part of our health care.
So get well soon Sarah and you can usually get away with the odd drink on Dilantin. You just feel the side effects a little stronger.
As a result of the increased time off I did start a podcast myself up here in the great white north focusing on freethought issues pertaining to our country. It is called Northern Freethinkers.
Again feel better and good luck.
You can track my status on facebook at
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=82232006083&ref=search&sid=129400231.2684927106..1
Sarah, I have always thought that you and I would make a nice couple, but I knew full well that you were too intelligent and quick witted to ever fall for my lame-ass romantic approach and inept sexual advances, but now that your brain has turned to mush my fantasies of us starring in a series of internet porn vids may not be completely out of the question. Call me Baby.
On a more serious note I do want to let you know that I value you as a person. You bring a dash of spice to the TWIT Network, and a splash of fun to us all. May all things be well for you Sarah Lane!
Sarah, after reading your recollected account of the incident, and particularly since the seizure occurred a short time after your flight it got me thinking that you may have suffered a DVT incident in your Brain. Travelers DVT typically affects the lower body, but can occur inside the Brain as well,. The damage can occur on the plane, and the negative effects build up until it reaches a tipping point either during the flight or even some minutes or hours after the flight as may have been the case with you.
I want you to read the linked articles, and have others who have your best interests in mind read them also. I do not want you to dismiss it out of hand as in your medicated state you may not be in a condition to properly judge whether it has merit to your case or not.
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/Dvt/DVT_All.html
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/blood-clot-in-the-brain.html
http://www.epilepsyontario.org/client/EO/EOWeb.nsf/web/Seizures+&+Stroke
A DVT clot in the Brain is atypical, but atypical does not mean impossible. You are atypical as well Sarah so who knows you just may have been bitten by it. If this was the root cause of the seizure there may be more effective tests, and therapies available for you than you are receiving now, and until you have had this lead fully checked out I recommend that you stay off of airplanes.
I hope it is not inappropriate for me to make these suggestions Sarah, but I do so out of genuine concern so please check it out.
Its good to hear you out of the hospital and hope that you will be ok, best wishes to you Sarah.
I've been following your career since tech TV, through the whole travelling Morans iTunes thing, and now on current. I've never felt the need to comment before, but I'd like to say, "I'm glad your ok." I'm totally shocked by the story, but I'm glad you got to write about it. I'll cross my fingers for you. Get well soon. Enjoy the drugs :P
-Gabe
this letter made me laugh and cry at the same time. sarah lane you are one awesome lady.
Stay strong Sarah. You will be in my prayers.
I really hope you can get well. My mom had a seizure last year so I know haw scary it is, you have ny best wishes from a long time fan
Wow, girl, anything to get attention. This is a great way to crusie for guys also.
Glad you are on the mend.
Sal
I also have seizures, but I know that mine are triggered by flashing lights, so that means no bars or parties if there are flashing lights, and since flashing lights trigger my seizures I am not allowed to drive for fear that I will see such things and go into a seizure.
Anyway, I wish you the best, you are a sweet person and you truly don't deserve this from life. We all love you and will be here for you no matter what.
Take care and get well soon, Sarah. :)
Sarah, I've been a fan since the Attack of the Show days, following your blog as you went around the world and then came home to a new life. I know this must all be scary as heck, and your ability to joke through it all is damn inspiring. That's our Sarah! Stay brave.
Wow, this is my first time visiting, for other reasons, and this so hit home. I'm currently in the no-driving limbo too, since a seizure in May. I am so so so sorry you had one, they aren't fun, and "coming to" is the hardest part. Especially seeing the look on your loved one's face, which always freaks me out. I can totally relate to your kidnapping story, I have some funny ones too, involving a Carrie moment. Meds are tough. I just found out that 60 Minutes is doing a segment on epilepsy tomorrow night. Unfortunately with Katie Couric. Who just may induce another seizure.
Best of luck to you, glad I stopped by!
Lisa
Hey Sarah, you do have a blood-brain barrier. Everybody has one actually. As the name implies it's a barrier in your brain that selectively allows things to pass it. IE Epinepherine gets converted to nor-epi to cross the blood brain barrier.
Anyway, good luck with everything.
I wish you a speedy recovery and hope everything would go back to whatever normal can be. I hope it wasn't a traumatic but something you can gain from. i only pray for the best.
Oh no, sorry to hear about that Sarah..hope you are feeling better...
In regards to what you have, actually everyone has a blood-brain barrier inside their head..helps to keep all the nasty stuff from coming into your brain and giving you things like cystericosis, meningitis, etc. I hope your neurologist has been able to help you out though!
Sarah, I'm thinking about you and sending positive thoughts your way. I hope the doctors can figure out what's going on -- and how to easily fix it!
Sarah I'm sure you're going to be fine. Keep up the courage and optimism! It works wonders:-)
OMG Sarah! I had no idea this happened! I wish I had read up on your tweets sooner, so I could've visited you or something! Since I'm Anemic, I'm a little slow witted too at the moment... isn't it odd to be average? ;)
Hugs and kisses to you. I hope they can pinpoint the exact problem and help you fix it! XOXOXOXOX <3
C.
Sarah Lane you rock !! And that's no poo.
Hi guys, I know I'm long overdue for a thorough update... a lot has happened since I wrote this blog post. I promise I'll write it all out and post before Halloween. And thx for all your amazing support and kind words.. I really do love you all. xo
Glad to hear you're doing well! Sounds like a pretty scary experience!
Hey Sarah,
sorry if the tweets last night weren't clear, had hoped that some self deprecating humor with some self debate about Hanks vs Murray in romantic comedies would give ya a smile. Sry.
Be well
I just about spilled my coffee all over my lap reading that blog, all the best Sarah! and get well soon :)
Hey Sarah sorry to hear about your misfortune accident. I'd like to say that i know how you feel about the whole prescription drug thing but i dont really. See about two years ago my dad was actually working for barnes and noble as a regional manager. His first day on the job out of no where he had three gran mal seizures. Not fun stuff. He was brought to the hospital and ultimately they figured out that he has an arachnoid sist in his brain he was prescribed the same thing. The point is that i know how you feel because he hates it as well. I hope they figure out whats actually wrong and you get taken of the meds.
Hope all is well,
Jake
I really hope and pray that you get better and that this is put behind you. Just know that you have been very influential to me and most likely everyone. I was shocked when I first heard this and from the deepest of my heart I wish the best for you. May God Bless you.
Sarah, everyone has a blood-brain barrier. It's there for protection for your brain.
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