I had a grand mal seizure. Want to hear?
October 13, 2009So. I had booked what sounded like a pretty neat job… I didn’t know much more about it than that I’d be participating in an “expert panel” for MSN in the tech/gadget arena in Palos Verdes on October 12/13th, and my birthday actually fell on that first day, so I thought, well, huh, I’ve agreed to be working that day anyway, so why not fly down to LA for the previous weekend and see all my friends?
The MSN folks had arranged a car service for me, so as I descended down into baggage claim from a pleasant, wifi-enabled 1.4 hour flight, I saw a jovial older British guy with the ponytail holding my “LANE” sign (obviously at that time I had no idea he was British or jovial, but now it’s stuck in my memory). Anyway, nice guy. Led me to a Lincoln Towncar and didn’t blink an eye when I asked to be driven into Venice instead of straight to the hotel in Palos Verdes (where I’d been put up for the weekend by MSN). See, I just wanted to have brunch in Venice first. That’s all I wanted to do! Couple hours tops, two days before actual work. Slight chance of shopping. Slight!
So Venice resident Damon Berger (the future person to save my life, though I didn’t know that last part yet) and I walked two blocks from his brand-new kickass little bachelory beach bungalow to Abbot Kinney Blvd, the hipstery granola beautiful people main drag. We took our time choosing a place (which was nothing new, because we’re both picky about our food/service/sun exposure in our own ways) and settled on an organic/German/everything brunch spot called 3 Square.
We sat outside along the edge of the East/West wall at a 2-person table, just out of direct sun. Now here’s where everything gets fuzzy, because I remember certain things I said over the next five or so minutes, some of which were actually heard and have been backed up on official record, and some refuted for total inaccuracy/whimsy/fake language not recognized by any linguistics expert, anywhere. I remember asking to add mushrooms to an otherwise mushroom-free omelette, and was later told that I commented on how good bircher muesli was (it was an item on the menu). I remember the former but not the latter. Basically this is right around the time where things were falling apart upstairs. Keep in mind it was 11:30 am.. nobody was partying.
At this point, the really truly last thing I do remember is Damon looking across the table at me in a very concerned way and asking me if I was ok. “Sarah, are you ok? Seriously, are you ok?” And I heard him, and I saw him, and I couldn’t answer him. I could NOT stop whatever was coming. And that’s when I blacked out.
I’ve been told that at this point my entire body began convulsing, my eyes rolled back into my head, my mouth bled from where I had bit into it, and my lips turned blue. I guess that means I wasn’t breathing… blue lips? It wasn’t cold outside. Damon grabbed me and had someone pull my chair out from under me, brought me to the ground, and yelled for someone to call an ambulance. Apparently it arrived within about five minutes… good thing we weren’t dining in South Central. Damon would later tell me that he was convinced I was having either a heart attack or a stroke and dying right then and there, in his arms, and that it was the scariest moment of his entire life. I’m terribly grateful not to remember this part.
What I do remember is waking up in the back of an ambulance, an EMT to my left, Damon to my right. Now, this sounds really crazy and stupid but my initial thought was that I was being kidnapped, because when I begged to be let go they tried to hold me down and soothe me and keep in mind that I had no idea what had happened at the restaurant. I was in the back of a van and a strange man wanted to put a needle in my arm. I believe I kicked him. (EMT guy, I’m sorry I acted so badly with you, I know you were just trying to help. Keep on keepin on.)
I was admitted to Marina Del Ray Hospital, a place that I never knew existed, even though I lived less than ten miles away for two years. Kind of a small-town, kitchy feel to the place, and I say that with no disrespect- the kind of hospital where you don’t feel lost in the sterile shuffle of modern medicine. I was completely doped up for my 2.5-day stay, so forgive my swiss cheese memory, but I do know that the first IV drip I got was phenobarbital, the MOST WONDERFUL DRUG IN THE UNIVERSE, and also the #1 anti-seizure medication prescribed to dogs. Yay trivia! This is a little embarrassing to admit, but after four hours of intervenous intergalactic planetary space flight, I spent the rest of my hospital stay trying to come up with reasons why the nurses should give me more phenobarbital. (They never did, because they are mean, cruel nurses and only out for themselves.)
First test I got was a cat scan, which was a piece of cake… sort of like a mini-MRI. I think the next one was my actual MRI (which I was particularly sedated for, since I had heard it was a really claustrophobic experience… totally fell asleep in there). The third test was an EEG, which was a series of wires and suction cups attached to my scalp. I’ve never looked uglier…fact. There may or may not be a few iPhone pictures to back me up, but just take my word for it.
Anyway, so yeah. 400 tests, strong drugs, really nice nurses, and some not-that-horrible hospital food. Besides the circumstances under which I was there, I really think it could have been worse. My hospital roommate was Mrs. Jimenez, who had literally had BRAIN SURGERY several times already. A lovely woman with a great family, and I hope she gets better.
I’m now on a drug called Phenytoin (brand name Dilantin), which I take three times a day and has one of the worst list of side effects I’ve ever read. You guys, it’s almost funny it’s so bad. This is anti-epilepsy medication, which nobody really thinks I have, but is my best overall seizure suppressant until I get a clear diagnosis and better treatment options with a local neurologist here in San Francisco. I hate it and I hate the way it makes me feel. I feel slow… not funny, not smart. I am not legally allowed to drive a car. Plus, I’m not supposed to drink alcohol, which is ONLY THE ELIXIR OF LIFE, NOTHING BIG.
They think I might have cysticercosis, likely contracted during my year traveling abroad. It’s pretty gross. I’ve actually tested negative for it already, but they also think I have something called a blood-brain barrier, which might cause me to test inaccurately in tests such as these. BECAUSE I NEED AS MUCH OF A CHALLENGE AS POSSIBLE WHEN IT COMES TO MY BRAIN.
So that’s where I am now. I have my first neurology appointment here in SF on Tuesday, and we’ll go from there. Think positive! I also just wanted to thank everyone who’s called me or written me or bought me beautiful flowers (McCloskey), sent various notes of support and encouragement, etc. I hope I can get back to all of you, but just know I’m reading everything and really appreciating the love.
A quick but heartfelt congratulatory note to my cousin Martin and his beautiful bride Rebeca, who are getting married in Boston on Saturday in a gorgeous, joyful ceremony that I’m devastated to have to miss. A match made in heaven if there ever was one!
Reader Comments (151)
Get well soon!
Wow glad to hear you're up and about now. Hope things turn out ok!
Please take it easy. You are one of the greatest assests of the Internet. Cute, Smart, Funny - all that stuff! Sit back for as long as you need to, your health is more important than anything else. I know how frustrating it is to be artificially slowed down by medication, but your strong will and determination that we all love will be sure to get you through!
Taking a hot bath and giving all your cats lots of cuddles is very therapeutic. I know your not a fan of baths, but it's a suggestion.
If you need help with anything, the power of your devoted Internet fans are here at your disposal. Please know that all of us around the world are all wishing you a smooth recovery.
Please get well soon
You are awesome. You are in my prayers.
If you need anything, please let me know.
The world is your oyster, so just shuck it.
:-)
@ohdotoh
Yeah, been through the post-seizure gamut myself. Fun and not fun all at the same time (liked trying to bring up strong emotions to see spikes on the EEG for kicks).
Best of luck and hope that everything is ok and you don't have long term issues from a major problem! Cheering for you back in Iowa.
Damon = The real deal. Hero.
Get well soon Sarah. I can't imagine a world without your bubbly spirit.
I'm so glad to hear that you are ok! That is some scary story... I hope you get better soon and they're able to figure out a correct and helpful treatment.
Thanks fir the update Sarah. Hope all hoes well. Keep food thoughts.
Stana2z
Hi from Texas,
So glad you are well (and still with us). I enjoyed reading your post and I look forward to more updates. Thank you for the Twitter post, at work we are all following your post. Keep up the good work.
Steve Dunn
I just started listening to you not too long ago on "net at night".
I hope you get back there soon.
Good luck with everything.
Hi, Sarah, I'm a big fan. I hope to science you don't have cysticercosis, because CRAP that looks awful. I would rather it be a problem with your blood-brain barrier, as that's more correctable.
I had epilepsy diagnosed at 5 years of age when seeing a neurologist after my parents witnessed me experiencing grand mal seizures as well. I remember nothing from them, but understand them to be very worrisome. I've had MRIs and EEGs as well. 24-hour EEGs are quite sucky; consider yourself lucky to not have had one yet. I was on Depakote (valproaic acid) for many years, which did a good job of controlling my episodes. My mother is also on Dilantin, with great success.
With great drugs and medical teams at your disposal as well as superb friends like Damon and all of us fans, I'm sure you'll have a quick diagnosis with appropriate care that brings you back to feeling like your great self! Feel better soon!
Hoping for the best. One thing I value most as a fan, is your beautiful brain. There are other things I like too, but honestly, it's my favorite part. Good luck with it all!
1. Get well soon
2. Drugs are bad for creative mind
3. hope it doesn't cost you a fortune, covered? health care?
4. check witch different docs to get 2nd or 3rd opinion. malpractice is just around the corner.
i hope your ok, keep strong! xox
Hope your ok, keep strong! xox
Hope You are ok) keep strong! xox
Wow, Sarah, what an intense story. I'm glad Damon was with you. Thinking of you and sending good vibes your way! I have full confidence you'll be okay, you're a treacherous ball of steal, after all. :)
My jaw just dropped when I read you can't drink alcohol anymore Sarah, I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you and I hope you get back into tip top shape soon.
Wow. Sarah, you seem to somehow still make me laugh (the kidnapping part) on such a serious story. I'm sorry this happened but be grateful you were in a public place where you had fast thinking people around you. Which I'm sure you are. I hope everything turns out great for you. You're in my prayers.
Take Care.
-Stevonia
YEAH Damon.
I thought i was the only one that fell a sleep during an MRI
get well
What a story! We never expect these things in our lives and when we have to face them, it's best to have an attitude of strength and positivity, especially when it seems to fly by so fast as it does in your writing. You always put on such a positive face for your public side and I hope that you can keep it up in your personal world as well.
Being a relatively new Sarah fan (thanks to my recent discovery of the TWiT network and its seemingly far-reaching cast of characters), I have little doubt that you're feisty enough to get through most anything.
Stay strong, Miss Lane.
i hope everything is well for you. also i hope you are well enough for this week in fun.
if martin put pork in one of those brown bags we will be pissed.
Happy belated birthday. Sorry you had to spend it in a hospital... that's no fun. Best wishes for a speedy and full recovery!
Yikes lady! Wow. So very sorry about your ordeal... but glad you're better now, and on the mend. That's very scary - I'm sending your head a hug. Be well!
I've been so worried about what you have had to deal with, and so glad to know the medical folk are working to get it sorted out. Considering what you've been through, you sure sound good in this update. Hang in there, Sarah--we're fans of your from the days of ScreenSavers and are rooting for you.
Brain things are really heady stuff!
I hope they diagnose you definitively, soon.
It's weird how so much of a serious experience can be lightened by just the right approach in writing and you're the author who does it so well.
Here's to hoping you can get back to proper elixirs of life in the wink of an eye, cheers!
Sarah,
Take care of yourself.
Tell Martin to be nice, or I'll come out there and kick his ... well, he's bigger and taller than me, prob stronger too.. um, so I'll kick his... I guess .. shins... Yeah, that'll make him think twice before giving ya any grief! :-)
Seriously Sarah, know there's allot of people out here thinking about you and hoping for a speedy and full recovery.
Don't be shy about letting any of us out here in the interwebs know if there's anything we can do.
Take care of yourself! Spend some quality time with the kitties!
perfectfaceforeradio (from twit stickam chat) aka pffr (from twit irc chat) aka that odd short fellow that drank all the rum...
Dear Sarah,
This whole thing sucked so much! I really got shocked upset and so sad You have been and continue to be my role model. Ever since the Screen Saver days. When I was younger I always thought you seemed to be a little fake and probably cunty in real life. You know big star ego and what not!
I then started reading your old blog back when you used expression engine and you were so entertaining and funny I could not give up reading your awesome content. I realized how wrong I was and how much you cared about us the fans. Then you and Kevin broke up and I was so sad about it! Worst at the time was Kevin's last day on AOTS. Wow your emotions totally hit me!
I was bummed out that Kevin left the show but kept watching AOTS because you were on there and you rocked "The Feed". Then you and Brandon left got married and did a whole video blog for us! And I was so happy that you care about us and it was awesome. Totally felt like I was there with you guys.. " Eww Creepy" :) (I wouldn't want you on Cathy and I's honeymoon) but it really rocked. Then you kind of fell off the face of the earth and I was like they probably just want their privacy. I was sad and missed you. I understood.
Later on, I found out that you joined Revision3 and got so happy!!!! My favorite shows were the behind the scenes of Revision 3, The name escapes me right now. And you seemed to be totally yourself giving us a tour and it was awesome!!!!!!!!! Over time I realized how nice and open you are and how much you care about us your fans..
Then of course POPSiren was great watched every episode! I am so proud that you ran the whole show with a little help from others of course. :) I then really like the live tapings and felt like I was in the audience at the studio!!! You even chatted with us on IRC and answered questions! I got to ask questions and you totally answered them.
You got laid off and it again crushed me! You are like a friend with a power button that I can turn off any time I want. But I always know that you'll be there if I miss you or want to be entertained by you! But you weren't there anymore! :(
Then you came back again! with TWIF and with Martin made another kick ass fun show to watch! I now watch every Friday and I often check the current.com\tech blog just to get news. Then you got your Iphone jacked and I felt sad. But you taught me another lesson. "Lock my phone.
Then the Marty incident happened on the last TWIF and I was like, Oh my god! You are being really hard on Marty and that was not cool. But on the other hand you were 100% right and you stood up for what you thought was right. A total role model! Even when you got annoyed at the chat room! And scolded them.. That was great! But again my point of you being someone to be looked up too!
I'm now 30 and I still look up to you Lane! One of your biggest lessons that you instilled in my life by example of course is, "When life kicks you down you always stay up beat and you fight back!!" . I expect and need you to continue to be in my life for a long time. By this post I wanted you to know how much you mean to me and probably hundreds of other fans! You are our friend and part our family we all love you so much!!
Keep fighting and get better soon!
Rene
P.S. I still have dibs on Lucy right? Just kidding, I was hoping to put a smile on your face. ;)
Sarah,
Perhaps your brain is running Windoze ME? :) Seriously, so glad you're getting back to normal (or as normal as you ever were). I've been a fan of yours since the Screen Saver days. Take care of yourself and know that you have thousands of people thinking of you.
WOW Sarah! What an experience. Really glad you made it through - we're obviously all thinking positive for you!!
Speedy recovery, love! :) Your brain is really valuable to the internet!!
Wow Sarah, what an experience. You're staying positive, which is so important. Good luck on Tuesday, we'll be thinking of you with fingers crossed. Thank you for sharing.
Dear Sarah,
This whole thing sucked so much! I really got shocked upset and so sad You have been and continue to be my role model. Ever since the Screen Saver days.
I then started reading your old blog back when you used expression engine and you were so entertaining and funny I could not give up reading your awesome content. I realized how nice you are. Then you and Kevin broke up and I was so sad about it! Worst at the time was Kevin's last day on AOTS. Wow your emotions totally hit me!
I was bummed out that Kevin left the show but kept watching AOTS because you were on there and you rocked "The Feed". Then you and Brandon left got married and did a whole video blog for us! And I was so happy that you care about us and it was awesome. Totally felt like I was there with you guys.. " Eww Creepy" :) (I wouldn't want you on Cathy and I's honeymoon) but it really rocked. Then you kind of fell off the face of the earth and I was like they probably just want their privacy. I was sad and missed you. I understood.
Later on, I found out that you joined Revision3 and got so happy!!!! My favorite shows were the behind the scenes of Revision 3, The name escapes me right now. And you seemed to be totally yourself giving us a tour and it was awesome!!!!!!!!! Over time I realized how nice and open you are and how much you care about us your fans..
Then of course POPSiren was great watched every episode! I am so proud that you ran the whole show with a little help from others of course. :) I then really like the live tapings and felt like I was in the audience at the studio!!! You even chatted with us on IRC and answered questions! I got to ask questions and you totally answered them.
You got laid off and it again crushed me! You are like a friend with a power button that I can turn off any time I want. But I always know that you'll be there if I miss you or want to be entertained by you! But you weren't there anymore! :(
Then you came back again! with TWIF and with Martin made another kick ass fun show to watch! I now watch every Friday and I often check the current.com\tech blog just to get news. Then you got your Iphone jacked and I felt sad. But you taught me another lesson. "Lock my phone.
I'm now 30 and I still look up to you Lane! One of your biggest lessons that you instilled in my life by example of course is, "When life kicks you down you always stay up beat and you fight back!!" . I expect and need you to continue to be in my life for a long time. By this post I wanted you to know how much you mean to me and probably hundreds of other fans! You are our friend and part our family we all
love you so much!!
Keep fighting and get better soon!
Rene
P.S. I still have dibs on Lucy right? Just kidding, I was hoping to put a smile on your face. ;)
OOOps I thought my post got deleted so I cleaned up some things.. But I'm on page 2 of comentes... :) Ughhh... :P
Hi Sarah! Hope you are doing ok, and that the meds are helping more than hurting. You have to know by now how much everyone loves you. But just in case you forgot in the last 10 minutes or so, know that your presence is absolutely necessary. You make a huge difference in all the lives that you touch. Love, and all good wishes to you.
Hey everybody, THANK YOU for the kind words. I'm very touched and kinda blown away actually. If you're reading this you probably notice that comment page links are wonky and only show up when you're hovering over them... working on it. :)
s
Where's the sexy version of Dr. House when you need 'im? ;) Hopefully you're feeling better. Hang in there.
Aww Sarah. This story made me weepy scared for you. Wishing you a lot strength as you work through this. I'm rooting for you.
Sarah
Get well soon. I am fan from the techtv and watch you on Net at Night and TWIF. Keep positive and you'll fet through.
Chris in Maine
All our thoughts are with you, Sarah xxx
Hi Sarah. Just heard your news. I feel for you lady! You will be OK. You are made of the right stuff! Now get some rest and think of your recovery. dinnybod
Best wishes, Sarah, glad to hear you're still with us. :)
Keep mov'in on - good luck next week
Sometimes we do stupid things. Usually this is due to ignorance or not being informed about current circumstances. So, I get on the chat yesterday during “This Week in Fun” and start making fun of the fact that you cannot drive. I don’t even know why you can’t drive but the others on the chat bring up your drinking. So, I ran with it. Now after reading the horrible incident you had to face I regret my foolishness.
I’m sure the experience was quite traumatic. From the data I have read related to the symptoms, be prepared, in good company, and have no fear. You will be fine! I’m just happy you didn’t miss a show. Just kidding!
(early) birthday wishes to you - glad to see you recover from a traumatic event...well wishes and prayers to you going forward....the world wouldn't be the same without you.
Too much Tweetbeat!!!!!! lighting round overload
Best wishes, thoughts, prayers, cupcakes, etc. :-) You are on your path enjoy each step along the way!
Oh my God Sarah. This must have been so terrifying for you. I wish so much Dane and I were still in SF so we could come do funny skits to entertain you while we do your dishes and laundry - because ,in my opinion, those are the things no one should have to do for themselves while they're sick.
Please take care of yourself and keep us all updated.