When Breathing Strikes Back.

Here's an interesting problem: I'm having trouble breathing. It's not like asthma, where inhaling air itself is difficult, and it's not like a chest cold, where my breathing is haggard. Nope, I'm just forgetting to breathe.

I'll estimate that this has been going on for about a week or two. And it's very troublesome, because who forgets to breathe? I seem to be going for periods of 20 seconds or so, then realizing that I'm holding my breath, then trying to take deep breaths and getting lightheaded. I have no idea what's going on.

I did a little research on health message boards and surprisingly, my problem isn't that uncommon. Which eases my nerves a little. Although many people who have described the same symptoms as me are now being treated for panic attacks and/or anxiety disorders. Oh dear. I really don't think I have those. Do I?

I can't help but wonder if my performance anxiety is at least partly to blame. It's not easy to throw yourself into the gig I've got (and still keep your other job, too). While I'll admit the conscious stage fright left me after a few tries, the overall stress and desire to perform well certainly stayed. Everyone I work with who's on-air-been-there-done-that tells me that this too shall pass. I hope so, because I miss my oxygen. Work, stupid lungs!

On a somewhat related note, I learned this from my dictionary.com newsletter today:

stertorous \STUR-tuh-ruhs\, adjective:
   Characterized  by  a  heavy snoring or gasping sound; hoarsely
   breathing.

I don't think I snore. But I do sleepwalk. In another entry I'll tell you about my adventure at the Bellagio in Vegas. It's better than fiction.

And if things weren't strange enough, I had a dream last night that I was trying to sleep in my cube but forgot my favorite pillow. Wait, it gets better. The next day, my boss announced they were promoting me to work on Martin's show, Unscrewed. He said I got a big raise, but wouldn't tell me how much. I kept wandering around, wondering what my new hours were.

Somebody needs a vacation. Bad.
Seven weeks till Europe!

Comments

[elise]

What you're experiencing certainly sounds like a panic attack to me. I've had my share of those. I've had symptoms similar to those you're having and I've had them wake me up in the middle of the night. Talk about scary! Going from deep sleep to full-blown panic and not being able to take a full breath. *shiver*

Anyway, anxiety and panic disorder sucks and the attacks can come at you at any time (watch The Sopranos). I would say watch out for some of the companion symptoms like random rapid heartbeats (or any arrhythmias), difficulty falling asleep, and the one i hate the most - numbness in the extremities (namely the arms and hands). If the symptoms start compounding I would seriously consider talking to your doctor.

The other thing I might do as a precaution is cut WAY back on caffeine and see if you can s-l-o-w down. When I was first told I had some anxiety issues, I was told to quit caffeine and it did help for a while.

You might want to hit Usenet and browse the alt.support.anxiety-panic.moderated newsgroup (if you have access) and ask some questions there. The people are really nice and they can give you some good advice.

I hope you feel better.. and remember to just chill. :)

[Larry]

Sarah, you crack me up with your stories and experiences. Have you ever thought about writing a book?

[Brent B]

Sarah,

Sorry to hear about your breathing scare. I have had one panic attack in my life. At least one bad panic attack.

Anyway, It freaked me out. I was able to treat it with some down time and, like Elise said before, cutting out the caffeine.

Just keep your European trip fresh in your mind and listen to a tape of the whales or something.

Don't worry about your on-air work, you are doing fine.

One other thing. Main land Europe is fine, but think about visiting Iceland sometime. The parties would let you hang it all out there and the blue lagoon would help bring you back down and relax like nothing else.

[Cindy L]

If you are asleep, how do you know you snore? I video taped myself to find the answer and found out that I don't snore. Hang loose Sarah and all will be better. You are doing a GREAT job on TSS.

[Jeff D. Robertson]

Sarah, I hate to say it, but what you describe does sound a lot like panic attacks. I speak from experience of having many myself, all the way back to 1990. It wasn't until I really started to observe the process that I realized what a powerful thing the mind is. Once it is convinced "something" is happening, your body will react. The trick is to stomp the belief before it has a chance to get out of control and trigger the adrenaline release. I can best illustrate this control by comparing it to a hidden video "prank". The victims in these situations are being lead down a path of belief that is suddenly interrupted when they realize they have been had. It is that instantaneous moment of awareness that you must apply to the onset of an attack. Your mind must be convinced that NOTHING is happening! It sounds easy enough, but this revelation only came to me within the past few years, so my best advice would be to try to relax and let go of the things in your life that are out of your control.

Jeff

[Shmatt]

Sometimes I've noticed that my breathing will stop when I'm _really_ concentrating on something. Weird... 'cause my lungs can't do SQL, only my brain.

Related to the show...

Someone showed me a website that listed the top 100 5th grade basketball players. I didn't even know they had organized ball in 5th grade.

[MB]

I volunteer to give you mouth to mouth! :o)~

*i4Lfc*

[Larry T]

I had a panic attack last night (6/4) when I tuned in to TSS and you were no where to be found. I thought that maybe you had been BANISHED to Martin's show. I feel another panic attack coming on in seven weeks. SARAH RULES!:)LMT

[Tones]

Sarah, you're beautiful, you're funny, and you're doing great. No need to PANIC. You'll be fine.

[Glen D]

Hi Sarah,

I have the same problem from time to time. I think cutting back on the caffeine will help.

I think you're great! I look forward to your reports - very interesting! Keep up the good work!

[David]

You ARE doing a great job. Have fun in Europe, I know I did. I can't wait to go back. :D Let us know where you are going in general. (what countries, etc)

Speaking of sleepwalking, I do that on occasion. Several times in college, my roommates thought I was a psycho. I would get up and walk towards them mumbling something. Lots of times, they said I was like the wrestler Undertaker, where I would rise up in bed and mumble something and lay back down. On two occasions I would have been out in the hallway if the door hadn't been locked. I woke up both times pulling on the doorknob. And once, I put my blanket on my roommate and got his spare one out of the closet. We both woke up wondering what the heck was going on. I have more, but this isn't MY journal... :)

[Dennis]

Perhaps the anxiety is being caused by your fear that you will be reassigned to Martin's show. You're subconscious mind is worried what your friends will think, what your parents will think, what your pastor from that little church back home will think. I know I'd personally have anxiety about working on Martin's show. LOL.

I know how you feel looking forward to a break. I'm quitting my job on July 18 to enter seminary this fall. I'm taking a few weeks to travel. Miami and South Beach are my first destinations and I can't wait. I love my job, but I'm so ready to get out of here.

[troy]

hmm. interesting, at work i still get the /mt/ directory when i type in sarahlane.com. here at home i get your new directory. Something odd is up with the network at work.. someone needs to fix that. Oh wait... that would be me better get back to work!

ps. your blog is great and very funny at times, keep up the good work.

[thatcomputerguy]

I think you have described a Panic Attack perfectly.

I have been having them too, but mostly when I'm real worried about things I have absolutely NO CONTROL OVER! Isn't it funny how the mind dwells most on the things it cannot change?

Anyway....

I agree with the previous statement about just telling yourself to "cut it out" and "all is fine". You may not get rid of all the symptoms right away, but some of the anxiety will go.

Good luck and keep up the good work!

Rock on.

Peace.

[MSquare]

I have the same problem. My doc put me on 1/2 a xanax a day, and that really helped. That prescription has since run out and the symptoms are back (especially at night). I REALLY don't wanna be a slave to a pill, so I'm looking at signing up for yoga or tai chi somewhere.

[Dan]

if being on airs whats panicing u dont worry ur great and i know sometimes when i play games i forget to breath for like 3 seconds but i dont know how i could go 20 without realizing it. i also look forward to the other screwed up stuff u do while sleeping. i find those things interesting. id tell u my dreams but i can never remember them past 5 mins if that

[hos]

Might I suggest the soothing sounds of �Hearts of Space�.Find that favorite pillow and get comfy. Unwind with long deep breaths. Theatre of the mind, body, and soul. Relax and celebrate the good and devise a strategy for the rest.http://www.hos.comCheck out �Streaming Archives� �Relax��.program #566 �Synthetic Pleasures�.

[Dan]

sarah if ur in to transformers might i ask what u think of the armada series there airing on cn now?

[Garret]

Ya it's a panic attack alright. I know this first I have only had 1 painic attack in my life but it was a really bad one. My friend came up to me and asked if I was OK after looking at my blue face after about a minute. Anyways there is no reason to be nervous on TSS, I beleave I speek for everyone when I say you are doing great on TSS. Keep it up

P.S. love the catchy names you give your self after one of your segments

[Moresco]

Hey Sarah, don't worry I have extreme anxiety. For me, I need to drink a little more water and take about 5 extra minutes out of my day to relax and analyze my anxiety. Years ago I noticed I was holding my breath while playing the guitar. Nervous, anxiety. Really it's serious thing, so if you keep forgetting to breathe, go see your doctor. :) Peace!

[Ted]

As far as stage fright goes I have the same fear, but that�s where our similarities end.You are a natural. Look at Leo. Nobody cares if he screws up or makes a fool of himself. We all love him and that�s not going to change with any performance. He is who he is. The only thing you�re lacking is time in front of the camera. Even so, I think we were all shocked the first time you came on the show. It isn�t your performance that makes the audience watch, it�s who you are. You can�t change that. You�ve got it in the bag and you don�t know it. The stage fright will fade with time and practice.

I like everyone on the show to varying degrees but here�s a short summary of what I think. Megan is so easy to watch and it�s easy to see why so many of us miss her on the show. Her voice had a quality all its own. Jessica is very articulate and good at what she does, just a little too heavy on the glitz factor. We love ya Jessy but less glitz! In fact less glitz everyone. Part of what I like about your shows is they�re real, minus all the glitz and polish. Patrick is like the solid rock on the show who everyone can depend on. Not merely to have the right answer, but to give his all for the show no matter what. I like all of Yoshi�s projects and I think his job is one of the best. Kevin seems to fit right in and have plenty of knowledge as well. My favorite guest host of all time was Will Wheaton. He did an amazing job with Patrick and I wish he had a place on Tech TV. Anyway have fun in Europe. My brother�s stationed in Germany if you get stuck.

[Matt C]

"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."William Dement (1928-)

[One Big Prick]

I love you Sarah. Dumbass

[Chris Inman]

     Reading about your condition worries me. And I hope you'll take the time to see a doctor, as there is a slight possibility of sleep apnea. I'd hate to hear of anything happening to such a talented young lady as yourself. Anyway, enough of the lecture on health. I'm glad to hear about you cohosting on unscrewed. In my opinion, the two of you will make a great team. I've noticed that you're calm under pressure. I still remember your tip on StrangeBannana.com, and how you stayed calm when Leo made a joke. You're the greatest, and I wish you the best. STAY COOL...

[Pris Chirillo]

Gee, I wonder where you got the idea for strangebanana.com.

[Tim Hanson]

Speaking as an M.D., the symptoms you are describing are commonly associated with anxiety. Holding your breath for 20 seconds will not make you light headed. However, hyperventilating (breathing rapidly and shallowly) certainly will.

The next time you realize that you haven't been breathing, try to focus on your breathing and take slow, deep breaths. Make sure that you are taking time to both inhale and exhale.

Anxiety disorders are extremely common and nothing to be ashamed about. You may very well want to see a doctor in order to rule out other causes of your symptoms (such as hypoglycemia). If nothing else, seeing someone will help you to relieve some of the stress associated with having these episodes. If you find that these episodes are having a negative impact on your day to day life (i.e. you are spending a great deal of time thinking about these symptoms, the episodes are disrupting your day to day life, or you are altering your daily routines for fear of having an episode) then you absolutely have to seek treatment.

[Kevin]

Ha....that's ironic because I've been doing the same thing...I noticed it the other day while watching something on tv. Someone was trapped underwater or something and I stopped breathing...I got caught up in it I guess and it's been continuing to happen to me for a few days now. That's interesting that it could be panic attack. I would not have thought one could be like that.

[Michael]

Somethings bothering you and is on your mind. When it happens you have to be thinking of something that must be more important than breathing,( I would put breathing back up on the #1 priority list). What or who is it that is consuming you. When i think of something that is bothering me or I am embarresed about, i find myself humming loudly. Try this ,,,Breath in,,,braeth out,, do that over and over again 20 million times and fix the other thing. Michael

[Brandon Eaker]

Wow you have alot of posts hopefully you get this. What it could be is sleep aphnea ( I hope I spelled it right) It's when you stop breething for a few seconds and then continue leaving you kind of groggy in the morning. I suggest seeing a doctor soon cause it's a serious problem. please fix it cause I dont want my Goddess Sarah in any pain :-)

[Brandon Eaker]

Wow you have alot of posts hopefully you get this. What it could be is sleep aphnea ( I hope I spelled it right) It's when you stop breething for a few seconds and then continue leaving you kind of groggy in the morning. I suggest seeing a doctor soon cause it's a serious problem. please fix it cause I dont want my Goddess Sarah in any pain :-)

[Suzie Stylc]

If it's any consolation, you look comfortable in front of a camera! So, you may be anxious inside but you don't show it on the outside!

[Neo]

Sarah, I too like many think you are super-hot, but thats not my area to go into here, im here to tell you about sleep apnea, it is most often caused by snoring, try to visit www.zees.com and follow the teachings of Dr. Lewis Newberg, Im havin his surgery in a week to cure my sleep apnea, trust me he can help. I know.BTW i jus sent u an email with the info on sleep apnea and some tips

[Dr.Mani - yes, DOCTOR Mani, th]

Heard of ONDINE'S CURSE ?

Interesting story. Ondine was the "King of Mermaids". Had a very pretty daughter. Kept her in the sea, deep underwater. Forbid her to visit the surface. Relented after much pleading. Daughter surfaces. Falls in love with human. Dad discovers. FURIOUS. Curses the man -

"You will forget to breathe automatically"

The poor soul keeps breathing voluntarily, consciously, until finally, exhausted, he stops.

From what I recall of my physiology classes in med school, this could also happen in some diseases of the brainstem.

The condition became dubbed "Ondine's Curse"

Dr.Mani- he's remarkably purple - in spots!http://www.EzineMarketingCenter.com/blog/

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