You may or may not have seen this before, but it sums up how I feel about life rather succintly:
Every time I get down about not having enough money or being in the right job or having the kind of success I thought I'd have by this age, I try to remind myself that my life is happening, right here, right now. And so is yours. And come to think of it, we should probably take a really long trip to Tanzania. THOSE WILDEBEESTS AREN'T GOING TO PHOTOGRAPH THEMSELVES, PEOPLE.
Do you want to make your own masala chai tea from scratch? I'm talking about the best effing chai tea in the word, mind you. This is my mom's recipe, and it's BEYOND delicious. Would I lie to you, dear reader? No, I would not.
I'm cutting and pasting the instructions she emailed to me below, so that your tastebuds can have orgasms too. You deserve it. (Remember, you can always buy what you need at your local health food store to try it out once or twice, and then buy in bulk online if you want to save money regularly).
"I use the following site to buy ginger (cut and sifted), decorticated cardamom and cinnamon:
It's soooo much cheaper than at Whole Foods or other places that sell spices out of jars. I buy by the pound. At the end of each item listing, there's a letter, e.g., K. It has to do where the item is located and shipped from. If possible, try to order stuff from the same place because shipping is much cheaper that way.
I don't measure the ingredients in my basic mix, so the following is approximate. You can adjust according to your personal preferences.
Chai mix:
1 cup ginger, cut and sifted (this is what it's called. You don't want powdered or dried ginger root) 1/3 cup cinnamon pieces (I find 1/4-inch works well) 1/4 cup decorticated cardamom seed 1-2 Tbs. coriander seed 2-5 bay leaves (love the bay!) 2 Tbs. black pepper
Bay and pepper are the secret ingredients. Pepper isn't so secret, but it gives chai its warmth. I sometimes add a tablespoon of whole cloves, but often don't bother.
Put everything in a food processor and run just enough to break things up a bit. You're not trying to pulverize stuff, just get a little more mileage out of it.
Be very careful not to inhale deeply over the ginger or the mixed spices. It will make you sneeze like crazy. Trust me.
Chai concentrate (makes enough for 8 cups)
6-1/2 cups of water 4 Tbs. chai mix 8 bags black tea, e.g., English Breakfast
Bring water and chai mix to boil in large saucepan. When it reaches a boil, turn it down and simmer uncovered for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, turn off heat, add tea bags, cover, and let sit for 20-30 minutes. I've sometimes forgotten about it and let it sit for a couple of hours and it still turns out great.
Pour through strainer into clean pot or bowl. With a wooden spoon, press on the spices and tea bags in the strainer to get all the liquid out. Pour chai into glass or plastic container and refrigerate. Keeps about a week.
To make chai:
Put 1/2 to 3/4 cup of liquid chai into cup. Add milk or soymilk to fill, microwave till hot. You can add sugar if you like it sweet, but most soymilk is sweet enough."
I know, I know. You gotta work for good chai from scratch. But if you do, I swear you'll thank me. I live for Mom's chai (and for what it's worth, I NEVER add sugar). Try it out and report back!
When I worked at TechTV and G4, I did a lot of press junkets... meaning, I got to attend screenings of movies before they premiered, and then interview the main actors/directors/producers/costume designers/guy who wore the weird suit/guy who wrote the book that inspired the movie/Jack Russell stunt double/etc about their experiences making these movies. I'd then take all the footage from my interviews and from the EPK (Electronic Press Kit of film clips and behind-the-scenes footage that the studio provides journalists), write some snappy copy for myself, and put a piece together. Here's an example of a finished product from one of the better films I covered, "V for Vendetta":
Now, I know many of you will think this sounds like quite a dream job indeed. But junkets are weird. What the studio will do is buy out a bunch of rooms in a nice hotel like the Four Seasons, have check-in/catering in a suite, and set up the interview areas in individual rooms down the hall. Harrison Ford in 702, Keanu Reeves in 706, and so on. You'll be given a time slot - anything before lunch is good, after lunch starts to get iffy because the actors have been answering the same questions about their performance/weight gain/weight loss/shaved head/inspirations since 10 am, and the kiss of death is anything around the 4 pm slot, which I assume happens to smaller outlets that no one cares about or to somebody who booked late and/or pissed someone at the studio off.
The actors don't want to sit in a dark hotel room with hot lights and makeup artists and cameras and journalists shuffling in and out all day, but they're required to participate as promotion for the movie. I interviewed so many big stars (some multiple times for different movies) that were either tired or rude or some combination of both that the kind, polite people really stood out. Johnny Depp was one, which was a huge relief to me because he's my favorite person currently walking the earth. John Cusack was another, which I like to attribute a teeny tiny bit to my own warm, easy-going manner since he's got a reputation as a bad interview. I'd tell you who the bitches were, but alas, you never know who's reading this blog! Let's just say the bitches were plentiful. But also really pretty. Sigh.
The other journalists (I've heard some refer to themselves as "junketeers") are from all over the country, but you start to see the same people week after week. So-and-so from Entertainment Tonight. That nice lady with the big hair from the Miami station. The girl from TV Guide who's always overdressed. The old guy. There's cattiness and pecking orders and the most celebrity gossip you've ever heard from a bunch of adults. It's so weird.
The catering is always good. I stuffed a brownie or two into my purse back in the day.
I sometimes miss this part of my old jobs, although at the time I stewed about never being able to get away for the weekend (junkets are almost always held on Sundays, and usually the screening is the previous evening). If I never do another one, I can at least proudly say I've interviewed most of Hollywood without getting slapped or yelled at. With the exception of Brad Pitt.. who never slapped or yelled at me, I just never covered one of his movies. Why, Brad. WHY?!
Oh, and you can totally tell that I did my own hair/makeup/wardrobe at these junkets. On my show I had people to do that for me (see the curls in the above clip? I can't do those curls myself), but I always looked like shit on Sundays next to those pretty, bitchy actresses. BITCHES!
PS- Lest you think I was hinting at something in this post, no, Natalie Portman was not a bitch. Intimidatingly smart and pretty and well-spoken, yes. Bitch, no. It was infuriating.
Not that we aren't still friends, because of course we are... but now I don't see her every day, and that makes me sad. Mouji is one of the funniest people I've ever met. She also made this little daily croissant thingie in the toaster oven that smelled so good and made me want to sit in her cube and sniff the air while she ate it. I'm pretty sure if I had done that I would have made her horribly uncomfortable, but she would have let me and even smiled a tiny little smile, because that's the kind of person ol' Mouji is. If you never had the pleasure of watching some of her insane popSiren skits and monologues, you really should (Rev3 hasn't taken 'em down yet, why not?)
The real issue is that if I try to move him from the sink, he'll scream and claw at me like I'm plunging a firey sword through his lungs. Talk about a bad attitude. NEXT STOP: MILITARY SCHOOL.
December 3, 2008