Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light Go

I know I've been on a musical kick here recently, although if you complained about that I'd argue that I'm always on a musical kick and only hold back from writing about music on this blog every five minutes so that I don't have to admit that it's all I think about. Well, that and cat hair.

Picture it: Sebastopol, California, 1988. 7th grade. I'm at Sequoia Verducci's dance party. Events like these were usually organized around someone's birthday and consisted of about 20 kids standing awkwardly along the perimeter of a living room during the fast songs and pairing up to experiment with boy-girl body contact for the slow songs. I know, it seems ridiculous to me now, too. No wonder my mom was always reading from "The Hurried Child", sipping Bushmill's and weeping.

Anyway, Sequoia had the best house for dance parties because her parents let us dance in the bonus room, kind of like a detached garage, a good 100 feet from the main house. Oh, I'm sure Mrs. Verducci was hovering the whole time, but back then it felt like we were left alone as hedonists, free to put our hands on each other's shoulders and waists, far away from the prying eyes of anyone over thirteen. Of course, this pre-dates alcohol, which any self-respecting fourteen year old knows is the only way to party. Just kidding. Not really.

Of course, in 1988 being a DJ was a huge challenge, since nobody even had CD players yet. Instead, an assortment of cassette tapes had to be cued up, played, and then quickly swapped out before the dead air made partygoers want to call their parents for early rides home. If a host wanted to play the same song twice in one night, well, that could be tricky. There was rewinding involved. Mix tapes were an option, though in the end less flexible. How did we even get out of bed in the morning?

Are you wondering if this post has a point? My point (and I do have one) is that at this particular dance party at Sequoia Verducci's house, we all wanted to slow dance to "Love Bites" by Def Leppard, because at that time it was the Best Slow Dancing Song Ever Made, the kind of song that made every girl who didn't get asked to dance cry in the shadows of the bonus room. Except that if you're familiar with "Hysteria", which is the album that "Love Bites" is on, then you know that right after "Love Bites" comes one of the Best Obnoxious Hair Metal Songs Ever Made, and that song is called "Pour Some Sugar On Me". That song made 7th graders go completely apeshit. Arms flailing, screaming, wrestling, the works. We all kind of knew it was about sex, but it seemed more like an appropriate excuse to spit fruit punch on each other.

So this past weekend I'm innocently watching a VH1's "Greatest 80's Songs Countdown", to which list "Pour Some Sugar On Me" has naturally been included, and DO YOU KNOW WHAT I REALIZE ABOUT THE LYRICS FOR THE FIRST TIME?

That:

Cause I'm hot (hot, so hot) sticky sweet, from my head (head, head) to my feet...
Do you take sugar? Waa duh cah taaaaaaah!

...is actually not at all correct. Here's what's correct:

Cause I'm hot (hot, so hot) sticky sweet, from my head (head, head) to my feet...
Do you take sugar? ONE LUMP OR TWO?

Please, someone tell me that they're also experiencing an epiphany here. It's just so, obvious. One lump or two! Of course! Right under my nose for 20 mother effing years. Am I the only one? One lump or two!

I need a burrito.

Nostalgia on a Sunday

You go ahead and fight me on this one if you like, but George Michael's "Freedom '90" is one of the Best Songs Ever Made. The interesting thing is that he released it before most of his fans knew he was gay (yes, I know he was 1/2 of Wham!, but come on, I was eight), and it still took me about a decade to realize the song was his coming-out-of-the-closet anthem.

I can't believe this video is 18 YEARS OLD.

Food For Thought

I read tons of blogs every day. Many of my current favorites I've stumbled across accidentally, such as Mihow.com. I don't know the woman who created it, but she's a fellow cat lover, has an insanely cute baby, and writes really well. I feel like reading her stories for the past six months has enabled me to know her intimately enough that she and I could have coffee and enjoy ourselves. That's more than I can say for most of the strangers I cross paths with every day.

Mihow (AKA Michelle) recently linked to a provoking New York Times article about knowing the animals we eat that I think you should read. Even though I'm a pescetarian with vegan aspirations, I try not to judge anyone else's eating choices. After all, I read dlisted.com almost every day, which is arguably more damaging to my body than rBST. I also have a lot of leather shoes. But I do think that if we were all more actively involved in the process of putting meat on the dinner table or on our bodies, we'd be weighing our ethical decisions more often. Just something to think about.

It's Just a Kiss Away

Has anyone else noticed a surge in usage of The Rolling Stones' "Gimme Shelter" in film soundtracks over the last few years? Maybe it's just a case of standard probability. I've been stuck inside with The Cruel, Cruel Cold for three days now, and I've watched roughly 1,700 On Demand movies. I guess I was bound to hear it a few times.

Where I've come across it, in case you're wondering:

• Opening sequence in "The Departed"
• Sex/kidnapping scene in "Layer Cake"
• I forget which part in "The War"

I should add that in my mucus-laden opinion, "Gimme Shelter" is the best Rolling Stones song ever recorded, so I'm not complaining. Just bored out of my skull and noticing the little things.

Because it goes nicely with my currently feverish state, here's "Gimme Shelter" dubbed over the ending scene of "Taxi Driver". Though Martin Scorcese obviously loves the song and has used it in several of his movies, it wasn't originally featured in this one. Works nicely though, doesn't it? Oh, and don't watch if you're under 17. And if you do, it's only ketchup.

'Tis the Season To Be Phlegmy

Hi all. Sorry about the silence in 2008, though I kind of have an excuse. I've come down with a chest cold. I know, boo hoo.

But...

Have you ever had eye pain when you looked in any extreme direction? I've got that, and I've had it before. The first time was in high school, and two days later I came down with the chicken pox. IN HIGH SCHOOL. It was not pretty, people. The second time I developed a month-long bout of bronchitis. So you can imagine my hesitation to wake up tomorrow.

Thankfully, it's Friday night and I have nothing to do this weekend, California is experiencing its biggest storm in years so I'm expected to stay indoors, VH1 has decided to abandon all programming that isn't America's Next Top Model marathons (we're on Cycle 8), and the cats are being really cute. It could be worse.